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Short One

Bit of a downbeat post this week, my apologies...

Went to Yin and Ashtanga this week after a 3 week break. I had a very tough time at both, felt like I was back at square one. Paul and I had spent a wonderful, sunny, fairly active 12 days in Tenerife. We walked miles, climbed a volcano or two, went mountain biking, swam in the sea, danced....We ate some delicious food and enjoyed a beer or two, and a cocktail or three. Consequently many euros were spent and many pounds gained. We had a great time, but then we needed to come home to what appeared to be a repeat of winter, the washing, work and a struggle to fit into any clothes.

Yin yesterday was a struggle. My feet seemed further away than they had been last month, and my hips were pretty seized up. Slightly sore from that I went to Ashtanga today. I was late as I'd got lost in guitar practise so had to put my mat next to the mirror. I tried to keep my eyes away from it, but unfortunately caught sight of my exposed abdomen in scorpion pose. I hope nobody else had to see that, it was horrible.

So, I am feeling sorry for myself and have consoled myself with some crisps, and a big lump of cheese. And tonight I plan to drink beer and drown my sorrows. I'm a rational person; I understand that I'm only compounding the problem by my actions today. I am also very in tune with myself and know that until I'm ready my efforts will result in failure and associated negative feelings.

I have heard others says that they cannot understand why some people are overweight, why don't they do something about it? I know why. Crisps, cheese and beer pick up my spirits when I'm feeling low. They taste nice. I know they're not helping but in that moment I just want the pick-me-up they give. Then the next day I feel disappointed with myself, need cheering up and the cycle repeats. After a while I don't want to go out because of weight gain so opt to stay in wearing my pj's to eat the crisps and cheese. Exercise is harder because I'm heavier, so I avoid it.The problem compounds. Before long I have a sizeable problem on my hands.

I know myself, I've been here before. When I've wrestled myself into the correct mindset I will address the issues. I will claw myself back to my normal (pretty low) level at yoga, I will get out on my bike and eat sensibly. I will lose weight and my clothes will fit. All despite the occasional beer - got to have some treats!

So, if you're with me at the moment, stuck in a negative cycle, have faith. Keep up the yoga, it's good for the soul, and be kind to yourself. When you're ready climb out - I'll see you on the other side.

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Stacey Perrin
Stacey Perrin
Apr 25, 2023

I once got food poisoning on a trip to Spain, and a friend absolutely blew my mind by saying "at least you've lost your holiday weight" when I told her how sick I had been - as if gaining a few lbs is worse than being violently sick for a solid 72 hours?!

Her comments really made me realise how damaging diet culture is. Our worth is not measured by how we look, or what shape we are. Enjoying cheese and beer isn't something to be ashamed of. Going on holiday should be a fun, guilt free experience. And gaining a few lbs is exponentially better than having salmonella.

Anyway, this is a very long winded way of saying we…

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